“Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16).

There is now a shift in the subject matter of the Commandments, as the next six relate to how we are to treat other people and property.

When writing to the Church at Ephesus about family matters the Apostle Paul reminds them that the Fifth Commandment is: ‘the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land’ (Ephesians 6:3). Here again God’s people are given a positive reason for keeping their side of the covenant and obeying God’s commands. The Hebrew word for: ‘honour’ is used for respect and friendship being shown towards others, but it can also be used in the way we worship God.[1] Once again the phrase: ‘as the Lord your God has commanded you’ appears, making it clear that disobedience to this command is tantamount to disobedience towards God. In other words, we cannot claim to honour God if we do not obey this commandment!

Respect for one’s parents is of two-fold importance; not just because it is right and proper, but because it is where respect for all authority derives from. Even in the topsy-turvy world of today whatever form our family may take we all have a mother and a father. If one does not respect one’s parents why should there be respect for anything or anyone else? Although with the growth of political correctness there is a reluctance to criticise any one or any group in society, it has been shown that a stable family unit, in general, produces stable and productive members of society. Whereas a dysfunctional or incomplete family unit can lead to children who are ill-adjusted or psychologically damaged by the time they reach adolescence – the effects of which often extents into adulthood, this often being apparent in the quality of their adult relationships.

Therefore, it is important to remember that this commandment has two sides to it. If children are to: ‘honour’ their parents, then their parents should bring their children up in a stable and loving environment.  In Paul’s letter to the church at Colossae he gives this command: ‘Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged’ (Colossians 3:21). Basically, this is a two-way street, and John Currid sums it up like this: ‘parents are to set a good example for their children. They are to pray for them. They are to care for them. They are to love them.’[2]

Tracy and I have never had children of our own, but I recall being a teenager! I had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home, where consistency was the watchword, but I was as awkward as any teenager can be. My father admitted that he had probably dealt better with me as I was the third of his three sons. He was honest and humble enough to admit that he made mistakes with my older brothers. But perhaps this is the point of this commandment. I feel Brian Edwards has hit the nail firmly on the head when he writes: ‘And it is just because the home is the hardest place to maintain consistent respect for each other that God places the marker there. This value and respect should begin in the home because it is the hardest place of all to maintain it consistently. In the home we are at our most vulnerable’. [3]

[1] Allan Harman, Deuteronomy, The Commands of the Covenant God (Christian focus publications, Fearn, 2001), 78.
[2] John D Currid, Deuteronomy, An EP Study Commentary (Evangelical Press, Darlington, 2006), 142.
[3] Brian H. Edwards, The Ten Commandments for Today (Bromley, Day one publications, 1996) 168-169.